“This guy’s the champion,” said Patricia Brennan, a behavioral ecologist, leaning over the nether regions of a duck — a Meller’s duck from Madagascar, to be specific — and carefully coaxing out his phallus. (yes, they actually said that --- "carefully coaxing out his phallus"....a duck phallus, to be specific. lol, thank god you dont have that job, right? what do you do for a living? oh, i coax duck phalluses. carefully. i carefully coax duck phalluses.)
The champion phallus from this Meller’s duck is a long, spiraling tentacle. Some ducks grow phalluses as long as their entire body. In the fall, the genitalia will disappear, only to reappear next spring. (a long spiraling tentacle? uhm, ew? and what happens to it when it disappears, thats what i want to know!)
Gazing at the enormous organs (which are "corkscrew" shaped?!?!), she asked herself a question that apparently no one had asked before. “So what does the female look like?” she said. “Obviously you can’t have something like that without some place to put it in. You need a garage to park the car.” (wtf? so scientists discovered weird duck penises and didnt bother to study the female duck anatomy? typical. typical, sexist, male dominated science bullshit. leave it to a woman to figure this out. a woman who should never again use the car/garage sex metaphor with any man who has read her use it for duck sex.)
To test her hypothesis, Dr. Brennan plans to team up with a biomechanics expert to build a transparent model of a female duck. She wants to see exactly what a duck phallus does during mating. (so if i understand this correctly, the scientists want to force the boy ducks to have sex with a plastic, see-through girl duck so they can watch. thats just a teeny tiny bit creepy, no?)
seriously. im not making this stuff up. read it for yourself! crazy, weird stuff. but definitely entertaining, especially if you have the maturity level of a kid in grade school. hehe.
2 comments:
I particularly enjoyed this quote: “So what does the female look like?” she said. “Obviously you can’t have something like that without some place to put it in. You need a garage to park the car.”
And, your commentary on the scientists watching the male duck with the plastic female. This is fabulous stuff.
lol, i know! see, if you could say and write things like that as a researcher in social psychology, i bet you'd love to do it! maybe you should be an animal genitalia researcher. apparently, they get to write/say all sorts of fun, wild and crazy things! :)
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