its been a long crazy whirlwind of a week, mostly in a good way. i had a long fun weekend, and the week has zipped by. but underneath it all, theres a sense of anxiety and discontent, and it tells me that i need some down time to myself this weekend to sort out my head.

i think as human beings, we all have a dark side. because ive played the role of the "good girl", ive spent most of my life suppressing anything dark, rebellious, disagreeable, or unvirtuous. sometimes tho, i get a glimpse at the potential for self-destruction that exists in me and it scares me. these are times when i just want to say "FUCK YOU" to the world. fuck you, and fuck your expectations, fuck your pressure, fuck your assumptions, fuck your conclusions, and fuck your demands. fuck you for failing me and hurting me. just fuck you. and fuck me too for trying to live up to those expectations, pressures, assumptions, and demands; for letting you hurt and disappoint me.